After 12 years, a facelift. Smoother, tighter, no stitches at the hairline.
Thank you Shannon Spires for pointing me to Squarespace and getting me started, and thank you whizbang millenials at Squarespace who've simplified the tech enough that a techtard like me can design an attractive, functional, maintainable website start to finish and still have all my hair and fingernails intact. Not even any eyeroll whiplash!
Perhaps technology *will* save us...